Unemployed...but happy

A few thoughts have been streaming through my brain in the past couple of weeks. After much reflecting over the subject, I have decided to blog it out so I can express my feelings and maybe disentangle some of the emotions that have somehow intertwined themselves, throwing me on a bit of a roller coaster. So bear with me on this.

So here I am, about an hour and a half from dozing off to the lethargic bridge that will link me to tomorrow, Friday, my last day of my first "career" out of college. It's funny though. It felt just like yesterday when I was offered the job, and here I am over a year later walking away from it. The thoughts about it kind of sets me in a state of unsureness, fear, anxiety, and most of all, curiousness. As each day goes by, we accumulate plans and ideas that run through our minds. Whether they be what we are going to do to pass the time during our weekends, or how we choose to spend the rest of our living years walking the planet. I have never believed to be one to settle. Once upon a time I may have thought thats what I wanted, and maybe some later day I will, but anyone who knows me well enough knows me to be a nomad. Always ready to go again and see what the next place has to offer, and what I can offer it.

I graduated college and resided in Greenville, which was comfortable to me at the time. Then with the assistance of Mom and a 4' x 8' U-haul trailer, I found myself in another transposition of where I would leave a place of solace and proceed into another locality. Now, I know Augusta is the town where I spent the years of my adolescence. Whether it was waiting on my friends who had their license to make me their passenger to so-and-sos house, scrutinizing a new release, bagging groceries at my first big money-making scheme, or looking out my bedroom window as I spent a Friday night grounded because of that inefficient report card. But the person I was when I drove away from Augusta in 2005 was completely variant to the person I was when I returned. The other day, some long-time friends and I were discussing the 9 years between now and when we were taking our first steps into our high school. It feels like a million years ago and yet it feels like yesterday. I was so unaware of the life-altering events that would occur in a period shy of a decade. When I left Augusta, I learned to be a responsible adult, where there were no more disciplinary procedures when I bombed a test besides the idea of inadequacy to why I was there in the first place. Acquaintances came and went, and then I met life-long friends. I learned how to fall head-over-heels for a girl, and that a broken heart can honestly make you believe your world is going to end. And most of all, I learned that I wanted to succeed while I do have God's gift of life to be here. Succession can have different meanings to different people, but for me, I do not intend to waste my years in distress and unhappiness. The things you experience in life chisel you down to be ready for what life really is all about, being happy and having no regrets. It's what makes it worth living.

So now as I complete this chapter of my life, I find myself again unaware of what possibilities, opportunities, and misfortunes that may cross my path in the next nine years just to continue developing me into the person I am intended to become. I am stepping completely out of my comfort zone, and am leaning on the support of my family, God, and the faith that I can achieve my main goal, and that is to be happy. One of my chief support systems and the best sibling any person could wish for reminded me the other day that you have to take risks to find something extraordinary. And with the anxiety and fear aside, I can honestly say now that I am ready as I ever will be!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
 - Henry David Thoreau